byChrisWhite – 2025

“The world is most comical when it is most solemn; for folly, when clothed in grandeur, becometh irresistible farce.” – J. C. White

Book of Chris – 1:7

1          AND IT CAME TO PASS in the latter days, that the princes of the East lifted up their voices and said, Lo, we are become mighty among the nations, and who shall stand against us?

But behold, the ships of the sons of China smote one against another in the midst of the sea, and their captains gnashed their teeth, crying unto Heaven, for the compass was false and the rudder unsteady. And lo, the vessels sank not by reason of the enemy, but by their own clumsiness. And the scribes wrote it down as a victory, saying unto the people, Behold the terror of our navy, though the fish alone rejoiced therein.

And it came to pass that the sons of China lifted up their wings into the air, for they had fashioned chariots of fire from the blueprints of another people. But the blueprints were stolen in haste, and verily were they incomplete, lacking the secret parts which maketh the bird to fly aright. And lo, the wings clipped themselves, and the sky was filled with fragments, and the nations laughed sore. Yet the heralds of China proclaimed with great voice, Behold, the heavens are ours! and none believed them save themselves.

2          AND THE SONS OF RUS lifted up their spears against Ukraine, crying aloud, We shall have dominion. But the men of Ukraine took pots of clay, and nets of wire, and wings of children’s toys, and smote the hosts of Rus by craft and by cunning. And lo, the princes of Rus were confounded, for their tanks were consumed in the fields, and their soldiers fled for want of bread. Yet the prince of Rus boasted still, saying, We are strong and of great renown, though the widow and the orphan alone gave heed to his words.

3          AND THE SONS OF PERSIA sent forth a chariot of the air, wrought in the days of their grandfathers, a whirring thing with blades of iron. And it came unto the sea where the ships of the West lay mighty with fire and thunder. And the Persians cried, Behold our terror! but the mariners of the West laughed them to scorn, saying, Verily, a mosquito troubleth us more.

Then was the great general of the West sore displeased, for his patience was worn as a garment rent in twain. And he lifted up his hand and spake, saying, Enough. And lo, he sent forth one bomb, yea, the greatest of all bombs, a thunderstone whose voice was as a thousand tempests.

And it fell upon the hosts of Persia, and their spears were broken, and their chariots consumed, and their camps melted away as wax before the flame. And all the military power of Persia was no more, for it was blotted out in one minute. And the nations marveled, saying, Behold, the might of the West when it is moved to wrath.

4          BUT IN THOSE DAYS the great oracles of information, which speak daily unto the people, lifted up their voices with lying lips. For when the sons of Gaza, being workers of terror, rose up and murdered and defiled and committed abominations upon God’s chosen, the oracles spake not truth but vanity. Yea, they declared, Lo, it is Israel who is to blame for her own slaughter.

And they stirred up the multitude, and organized marches in the streets and in the halls of learning, where great minds, poisoned by allegiance, spake folly. And groups of men with women’s names and women with men’s names stood arm in arm beside the murderers and the defilers, who had sworn also to slay them, merely for the names they had chosen.

And the oracles reasoned falsely, debasing themselves with crooked logic, not for righteousness but for allegiance, not for good but for gain. And the people of every civilized nation shut their ears, and gave no more heed to the oracles.

5          THEN AROSE A NEW ORACLE, whose name was YoubusTubeus, and it spake not always in wisdom, yet it gave voice unto many, and the nations turned their ears thither, saying, Lo, here at last are voices unchained from the falsehood of the scribes.

6          AND IT WAS SO, that the rulers of these socialist nations were inflamed with pride, though their swords were rusted and their shields moth-eaten. For they desired the knowledge of other lands, but lo, they encouraged not their own to create. And their policies were as whips, demanding service without bread, and loyalty without recompense.

Therefore were their lowly ones hungry, and sold the fuel from their engines, and the bullets from their belts, and the food from their camps, that they might live. And the strength of their armies withered away, not by the power of their foes, but by their own corruption.

7          AND THE PRESIDENT OF THE WEST, being sore vexed, spake in the council, saying, Lo, how long shall we be troubled by these paper tigers, roaring without teeth? For verily they are as a confederacy of dunces, a show of power without power, and a crown of brass that shineth not.

Thus ended the tale, and the nations perceived the folly thereof, save only the princes of the East, who rejoiced in their own delusion, and the folly of the nations was made manifest.

So let the dunces reign, until the world be weary of laughter,

Amen.